XANA Goes Crazy 'N Stuff
by neon flights
Summary: They were fearing his return. This time, they were prepared. But not for the result... [The sequel to everyone's favourite crazy oneshot! Woo.]


Dun dun dun dun dundundundun DUN DUN… Dx (cough hack die)

Yep, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you, didn't you? As the summary says: 'the sugar highs are back!' xD You'd think I'd ignore the chance to write a 'sequel' to my most successful oneshot? Roffles, you're crazy. That story got really popular so I thought 'HAYWHYNOTWRITEASEQUEL' and poof here it is.

… lemme guess- you thought I was doing NOTHING at all during the period I hadn't updated apart from The Bestest Fanfic EVER? _This_ is what I've been working on. ...sorta.

Rawr.

**Warnings or anything else useful:** Nothing dangerous except mindless bashing, suicidal jumps, pure insanity, raining corpses, a hell of a lot of butter and the chance of your gut exploding. That last one, however, will not be my fault. Oh, and this oneshot is half as random but twice as crazy as the last one.

* * *

After the insane attack from last time, it took a while for the gang to adapt back to reality. The overwhelming event that involved Ulrich, Odd and Yumi running around like munchkins on drugs with Jeremie and Aelita chasing them like crazy wasn't a fun experience.

Actually, scratch that. It took them a really, really, long time. Aelita developed a fear of sugar, every time Jeremie saw a coloured square he'd point at it and scream like a little girl, Ulrich was emotionally scarred for life and whenever he saw Odd he ran away screaming (they didn't do anything out of the ordinary that night, right? ... right), Odd was always confused and Yumi…uhh…Yumi…

…tried to hire a psychiatrist for no reason, but he ate his own shoes and ran away before he got eaten by a tree shortly afterwards. But ANYWAY-

After a long, long time, they finally went back to normal.

Except for Ulrich, who still found the colour purple very frightening.

So they zipped through the rest of their lives as usual, until the terrifying event- XANA escaped from the supercomputer.

They had a few theories on where he disappeared off to. Ulrich's: He went to Hell and burned to…burny death. ("He'd bloody well deserve it too.")

Aelita's: He'll go bananas and try to kill everyone. ("…whimper.")

Yumi's was more sensible: He took over a hobo and is living in the streets right now. ("…he might be…")

…right, so they weren't as sensible as they thought. They didn't even want to hear Odd's opinion.

So they all just lurky lurked about until they figured it out.

5 months, and no dice. Let's have a look at what they're doing now. Yahou.

* * *

'_You are going to pay for what you did!' the brown haired boy roared, as he threw another chair at the terrified Japanese girl._

'_Please, don't hurt me!' she screamed, throwing her hands over her head._

_The boy just laughed as she started to cry. 'You're wasting my precious time.'_

_He grabbed her by her hair and threw her against the wall._

'_Time to end this.' He said, as he took something out of his pocket and dived towards the girl again, knife raised-'_

**SLICE**

"AHHHHH!"

"Ulrich, what's going on? What's wrong?"

"DAMN YOU KNIFE! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!" A loud bang and several smashes were heard.

Yumi sighed and got up from the couch as Odd and Aelita continued to watch the movie, screaming at random intervals.

The raven haired girl ran into the kitchen to see a very annoyed yet distressed Ulrich dancing around with a cut finger.

"Ow ow ow ow…" He said over and over, as she came over and looked at it.

"Ulrich, there's nothing there."

"Really? There isn't?" He looked at his finger. It was just a scratch, no blood at all. "Hmph, that's weird. Pretty boring, too."

Ulrich shook his head before speaking again.

"Why is it ME who has to 'feed' Jeremie?"

"Several reasons." Yumi replied. She held up a finger. "One, ever since XANA escaped he's been looking for him."

"Because he's being overprotective _AGAIN…"_

Second finger. "Two, he's locked himself in my room in the dark."

"He's going to turn into a vampire any day now."

Third finger. "And three, he hasn't eaten in the past two weeks and thirty th- sorry, thirty four seconds, and he only eats baked goods. Since you're the only one who knows how to make them well then you have to do it."

Ulrich stared at a mark on the ceiling. "Gee, I can't remember how I know how to make stuff like that."

* * *

_A very angry looking Mrs Stern towered over five year old Ulrich with a wooden spoon._

"_YOU WILL LEARN TO COOK LIKE ALL THE MEN IN MY FAMILY!"_

"_Ok mommy! I make you proud, yes!"_

_(Time passes)_

_Ulrich looked very proud of himself as he stared at the burning ruins of his house._

"_ME GOOD!" he said with glee, throwing his hands in the air._

"_Hey, the kid makes nice brownies." An officer mumbled with a full mouth._

_Mrs Stern just fainted while Mr Stern screamed some basque insult to no one in particular._

* * *

"Just stop reminiscing and do it." 

"Yes m'am."

* * *

Ulrich grumpily went up the stairs with a tray of brownies in one hand and a fire extinguisher in the other.

"I get all the nice jobs around here." He said to himself sarcastically, as he opened the door to Yumi's bedroom about an inch.

"Jeremie? Hello?"

He waited for a reply, but none came.

"I just wanted to-"

"COME IN." a voice rasped.

Ulrich did so, half of him fearing for his life and the other half thinking 'Mmm… cookies!'

He walked slowly, almost tripping over something, into the middle of the pitch-black room. The thirteen-year-old genius was sitting at his laptop, typing non-stop. He hands had calluses all over, and he looked like he hadn't washed or bathed in the past month either.

Ulrich cleared his throat. "Umm, I made you some-"

**SWIPE**

The tray used to be in Ulrich's hand. A second later it vanished.

"What the-?"

Jeremie started to eat one of them like a squirrel as his friend tried to make conversation without committing suicide in the process of doing so.

"Sooo…how's your research coming on?" Ulrich began, looking at anything but Jeremie's zombie-like face.

"…nothing." He replied, now with a brownie in his mouth and still typing.

"Eek, that's tough."

"How's Aelita?"

"Err, she's fine. She's watching _My Life as a Teenage Psychopath_ with Odd."

"Isn't that a bit too scary for her?" Jeremie replied, his voice returning to its original state now.

Ulrich rubbed the back of his head. "I was busy getting attacked by some random knife in the kitchen, so I didn't see any of it."

A very loud girlish scream came from downstairs that raised Jeremie's eyebrows so high they were almost through the ceiling, until Aelita saying 'calm down, Odd, it's just a movie' came shortly afterwards.

Ulrich just laughed at the sounds coming from downstairs.

And eventually, Jeremie laughed too.

* * *

Let's take a field trip back to the factory. Yayy.

Suddenly and very randomly, the supercomputer made a popping noise, the kind of noise when a certain girl's computer explodes when she clicks something that makes her cry.

All three scanners closed by themselves and made all sorts of…weird computery noises that electric stuff makes.

They then opened again as if nothing happened, except in one of them a small figure was curled up at the bottom.

It opened its eyes slowly, before it eventually sat up and breathed.

"I can breathe." It said, voice tainted with evil.

The figure shakily held up its evil hand and carefully dragged it across the floor. "I can…feel.'"

It smirked, evilly, before it stood up and stretched itself.

A small piece of glass attracted its attention. The figure bent down to look at it. Evilly of course.

Another person looked right back. An evil boy no older than 13 gazed with his blood red eyes as a few strands of his smoke grey hair fell onto his face.

The boy smirked EVILL- _(smack)_ … _deviously,_ very pleased with how he looked, before he stood up again and went towards the elevator.

XANA was back with a vengeance. And nothing was going to stop him.

…apart from the elevator that he had no idea how to use.

"Blasted machine…"

* * *

After Jeremie had reluctantly come out into the open, the gang decided to discuss the supercomputer. 

"Personally I think there's no need for it." Jeremie stated, still adjusting his eyes to the light. "XANA's escaped and won't need it anymore. He can do whatever he wants now."

"I think we should keep it on!" screamed Odd, before he fell onto the floor and started to roll around.

"I agree." said Yumi.

Ulrich just nodded, while Aelita sat in the corner of the room.

Jeremie ruffled his hair. "Doesn't anybody agree with me around here?"

Yumi's intellectual goldfish seemed to agree, but nobody noticed. Let alone know there was a fish in the room.

"I've got a strange feeling in my stomach…" Aelita muttered, rubbing the said area.

"I noticed the cafeteria food looked a little off today as well, Aelita. It's probably that."

"No Odd, I mean- I have a feeling that something just happened somewhere else."

She slowly stood up with a terrified face.

"_Something terrible."_ She whispered.

* * *

Elsewhere, Jim strode happily through the supermarket.

"I like food…" he said to himself dreamily, shoving everything into his several shopping carts.

… _(cough)_

* * *

Ulrich waved his hand lazily. "It's probably nothing."

Aelita still wasn't satisfied.

"I'm serious!' she said again, looking to Jeremie for help. "I'm positive that something _really bad_ is happening _right now!_"

"Three euros say it's Sissi getting a boyfriend." Odd whispered to Ulrich, who burst out laughing.

* * *

Several minutes of working out how the elevator worked later, XANA was finally out of the factory.

As he walked along, he thought about things.

_Evil_ things.

Some of them being how he'll torture those annoying insects, which country he'd take over first (his equally evil sister XENA wanted dibs on Hawaii) and-

**BANG!**

Pain. A lot of pain.

XANA grumbled as he rubbed his head, before looking at the streetlight that got in his way.

"You have 3 seconds to move out of my path of direction before I destroy you." He said menacingly.

The lamp didn't seem to budge.

"Die then." he said as he watched the post explode into a million pieces before continuing on his way.

Yes, that's what he'll do to those kids. Make them explode into a million pieces. Like the ignorant little streetlights they are. Boom.

* * *

The next day, it was a sunny morning.

Perfect for an evil virus to destroy the… uh, for all the little boys and girls to go out and have fun in the burniness of the giant flaming ball in the sky.

Ulrich woke up in his room to find Odd lying on the floor, screaming with a pillowcase on his head.

Yes, it was indeed a normal, not-so-quiet morning for Ulrich Stern.

After he had showered, dressed and kicked Odd out of his room, his mobile started to ring.

"Hello?" he said, answering it.

"_Ulrich! It's Jeremie! Meet us in the woods, I've made an amazing discovery!"_

"It's not that 'turn apples into oranges' experiment again, is it?"

"_No! Well, yes, there's that. But there's something else! Come over right away!"_

Ulrich hung up just in time to see Odd come through the door looking happy.

"Ahh, peaceful day, isn't it?"

"That's not for _you_ to say!"

"What? What'd I do now?"

* * *

"Important discovery! Important discovery!" Jeremie's laptop sang as its owner repeatedly hit it on a tree trunk to make it stop being so irritating.

The others just stared as he did.

"Uhh, Jeremie?" Yumi interrupted, trying not to let him get too obsessive over the Information Technology Abuse, "Maybe you could give us our explanation on your new 'discovery', as you called it before your laptop ends up like Johnny Edgar."

"Hi kids!" said a guy, with a face that looked like it had been eaten by a cat, upchucked, ran over by a six wheel truck twice and then shoved upside down in a washing machine filled to the brim with needle-covered rocks all within 30 seconds, who walked past them.

"Hi Johnny!" Ulrich replied, waving.

Jeremie stopped his destruction and wiped the sweat off his forehead as Johnny repeatedly walked into trees ahead of them.

"Well, y'know the whole 'OMG XANA GON KILL US' problem?"

They nodded.

"I was originally recoding the scanners to make you more attractive when you went into them rather than have them send you to Lyoko," Aelita blinked, "I accidentally messed up about one third of the coding. I was very tired at the time…"

"Yo, smart move Einstein!" Odd remarked. "I could have scored a date with Julie with that thing!"

He paused, then started to strike some poses. "Then again… nothing can beat the one and only Odd Really-Handsome-Guy Della-Robbia!"

"You keep telling yourself that." Ulrich said simply, as if he had grown used to that sort of thing, before turning back to Jeremie.

"Ignoring Odd's outburst…" the blonde haired boy said with a raised eyebrow, "I discovered a way to keep an eye out for XANA without us having to run all over France to find him."

Yumi sighed. "Dangit, I made us all a bento for the trip." She said sadly, raising the box in her hand.

"Um, yeah. I'll take that." Ulrich coughed as he grabbed the box and put in his… umm…

His…

… his…

Unusually large pocket. Yeah, let's go with that.

Jeremie's voice started to sound a lot more enthusiastic. "I've developed the most fool-proof…"

"Fool proof!" Yumi echoed.

"Shiny…"

"Oranges." Odd replied with a solemn look on his face.

"Most bestest detector ever!"

Ulrich's expression was unreadable.

Jeremie laughed a bit and whispered into his ear.

"_It's not purple."_

"WOO! YEAH!" Ulrich cried, dancing around in circles. "This is gonna be great! This is gonna be _great!"_

"This is gonna be bad, this is gonna be bad…" He grumbled while banging his head on the wall repeatedly, as Jeremie held the 'device' in front of him.

"Don't worry Ulrich. I've modi-"

"IT'S A MOUSE TRAP WITH A FRIGGIN' _COOKIE_ IN IT!"

Odd, on the other hand, thought this was the best idea since sliced bread. If sliced bread was Jeremie's backup plan, that is.

"Great job, Jer! YAHOO!" he said, giving him a big thumb's up.

"Yahoo?" said Jeremie confusedly, thumb raised as well.

Yumi looked at the sugar farm with a confused look. "What's the point of the cookie anyway, Jeremie?"

Odd gulped as he gave them all an evil smirk.

"Revenge." He said, grinning.

"For…" Ulrich hesitantly, waving his hand.

Jeremie just picked up his laptop (that desperately needed repairs) and walked to school.

"All in due time, guys. All in due time."

* * *

Time didn't exist in the eyes of XANA, unlike Ulrich and friends. What seemed like 3 hours was actually a day.

He didn't really care though. All that mattered was finding the school and its inhabitants.

And squish them into big, pus spewing organ piles. Yes.

However, finding the school was not an easy task. He had stopped by about 26- no, 27 buildings that seemed to look like 'educational centres'.

Turned out they were mixtures of offices and disabled homes, but XANA hadn't a clue what they were. Wheelchairs and broken body functions didn't matter to him unless he was causing the damage himself.

"Earth is stupid." He hissed under his breath as he kicked a small rock in front of him. "Stupid."

His stomach had been making strange noises for a long time now, but hunger was another thing XANA didn't find out about during his research. Instead, he found a story on how some human child bought the moon. _(Here, the writer was coughing and saying "Just making a sly Animal Crossing reference, folks. Play along.")_

XANA thought intensely for a moment. Humans got their energy from putting things down their throats, where it goes after that he didn't know much about.

All the evidence he gathered was that these 'energy replacement units' smelt very pleasant. So he used his 'amazing' knowledge to find something.

After a few minutes, he had learned that a puppy, a tree, a mail box, somebody's hair and a discarded can of air freshener were _not_ energy sources. Merely useless garbage.

Except the dog, though. It was very appealing.

Wandering around aimlessly and hungry, he had no idea he was in the forest that lead to Kadic which lead to the dorms where three of the enemy flesh units were half-conscious and perfect targets.

But XANA's mind was on other things, like trying not to keel over or walking into something.

Eventually he came to a small clearing in the middle of the wood. Not noticing the obstacle in his path, he simply walked on and tripped over it.

"Ow." He grunted, as he stood up and dusted himself off.

XANA cleared his throat and said his well prepared catchphrase for the second time. "You have 3 seconds to-"

But he stopped.

The device in front of him was a small panel of… wood? Metal? It was hard to tell. There was metal on it either way, which seemed to glisten in the darkness. And under that sheet of metal, was a round object.

The grey haired boy blinked as he stared at it, unaware that something was watching him from a tree.

Seeing as he had nothing else to do to observe the object, XANA simply bent over and uhh… to be frank, smelled it.

It smelt a lot nicer than that tree and the mail box put together.

He excitedly reached towards it with his hand, but another hand suddenly popped from the side of the device and smacked XANA's hand.

"What is this?" He said in confusion as he tried to reach for it again.

**BOP! **It hit him again.

**BOP! **And again.

**BOP! **And again...

_(Several 'BOPS!' later)_

His hand was almost pulsating with pain as the mechanical hand withdrew back into the machine.

Of course, XANA didn't really feel pain 'cause he's so amazing like that. He merely thought it was the combination of anger and annoyance in the form of nerve racking pulsations.

Basically, that was the very definition of pain. But nobody at the present moment really cared.

The metal on top of the object briefly disappeared and XANA took the opportunity to snag the object out before it reappeared.

In the eyes of any living person, it was very obvious that is was a cookie with a label stuck on it. But the only cookie he'd ever heard of was that of a computer file he never found much use of.

… label?

As XANA was busy examining the cookie through and through he noticed a piece of green paper stuck to the other side. Curiously, he read it.

"'THIS IS NOT A VIRUS'." He called out slowly before staring at it again.

Several minutes later XANA was happily walking out of the forest licking his lips.

Who would have thought shoving an object down your throat felt so good?

* * *

Back at the area the evil-smacking-hand-box thing was, a squirrel in a tree started to wobble before falling onto the forest floor.

It generally smashed. Um, yes. A squirrel. Smashed.

Several gears and random mechanical junk fell from the 'squirrel' as it rolled around.

Its 'eye' had been cracked, and the red light on its tail suddenly turned off.

Someone had recorded that entire scene.

It was another qu-

"GUAHHH!"

… _quiet_ would have described that morning, if it weren't for Jeremie's outburst that could be heard within a 3 kilometre radius.

"GUYS! MY TRAP WENT OFF! XANA'S BACK!"

This was also heard by the entire school. Even though they didn't know what a 'Zanna' was, they got the message it was something bad so several students ran around screaming. Some dorms spontaneously combusted.

It even got through Ulrich's mighty earplugs. He woke up screaming "I LOVE YOU!" while Odd did the same with "ROSA'S NOT WEARING A WHAT?".

They stared at each other as Ulrich took out his earplugs.

"Do I want to know, Odd?"

"No. Even I don't."

They both quickly dressed and ran out of their room in the direction of Jeremie's dorm room.

* * *

"This better be important." Odd said groggily as Jeremie was running around his room screaming his hair off. 

"Xanasbackxanasbackwereallgonnadiewaah!" He yelped quickly before hiding under his bed, trembling.

Aelita tottered in like a drunk shortly afterwards.

"What's going on…" She grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

It was a pretty interesting sight. Odd was sweating, Ulrich was reaching around Jeremie's bed with a stick ("Where'd that come from?" Aelita thought, puzzled) saying 'come on out' and Jeremie was nowhere to be seen.

All she could piece together was that Jeremie had been staying up all night, he found a kitten in his room and was so tired he mistook it for XANA, ran away and Ulrich was trying to get the kitten to come out.

Smiling, Aelita walked over to Ulrich and bent over.

"Here kitty kitty…" she whispered.

Ulrich stared at her.

"Go back to bed."

"What?"

"Jeremie's stuck under the bed absolutely terrified and you're saying 'here kitty'."

"It's _Jeremie?"_

Aelita frowned and looked under the bed. Indeed, a very shaky Jeremie was under there.

"MOMMY!" He shrieked.

Ulrich threw the stick away. "By the looks of it, his 'trap' seemed to have worked. But he was too busy screaming to tell us what happened."

"I think he's forgotten about one thing." Aelita replied, smirking.

"What, is there something else about it he didn't tell- wait, how do_ you_ know?"

"Internet." She said quickly, before running to his computer.

Ulrich shrugged.

"Works for me."

Odd had managed to get Jeremie out by saying Aelita had brought ice cream. To his dismay, he found out he was lying but stayed out anyway.

"Aelita said there's something else about that trap of yours that you didn't tell us about." Ulrich told him. "Mind filling us in?"

Jeremie facepalmed. "Dang, I forgot about that. Well basically, I'll say this briefly so you guys would have horrible flashbacks. I made a cookie with incredibly high chemical thingies. The ones that you find in those energy drinks. XANA's obviously taken the bait. I figured we could get back on him for that incident 1 semester ago."

Ulrich froze and stared at Odd, who blinked in reply.

Then he screamed. Really, really loud. And ran out of the room.

Outside was another scream, and Ulrich ran back inside and hid behind Aelita as Yumi entered the room with a very angry looking face.

"Damnit Jeremie! What the_ hell_ did you do?" She said angrily, seizing the younger boy by the collar.

"W-what? What happened?"

The door slammed open and a red haired girl with two white streams coming out of her hair pushed in a TV before saying 'Secret Apple Technique No. 243!' and disappearing.

The TV currently had the news on the screen.

"_There have been several reports of a crazy grey haired boy on the loose. He seems to be able to fly, for some reason. He was last reported in the suburbs. Here is some footage recorded by some guy who's probably dead now."_

"'**Dead?'"** They all said shockingly. The video showed what looked like XANA in his human form flying around Yumi's house, screaming 'I WANT TO FRIED POTATOES!' while throwing rocks. Yumi could be seen saying 'YOU'RE NUTS!' and running off in the direction of the school.

"_We advise everyone to stay indoors until the guys with the white coats come and take him away. In other news, Mrs Johnson gave birth to a tree at 3 am this morning…"_

"Cool! Yumi and XANA were on TV!" Odd said in amazement and jealousy.

Yumi focused on Jeremie again. "This plan _sucked! _Now thousands of people are going to DIE because of you now!"

"But I was so sure it was going to work…" whimpered Jeremie.

"Did your marabounta work?"

"No…"

"Did your so called 'anti virus' work?"

"No…"

"Did your experiment with apples and oranges work?"

"OK! I get it! I screwed up! I never thought of the fact that people could die! Happy?" retorted Jeremie.

"Before there's a full scale fight on our hands, what about that thingy over there?" Ulrich interrupted, pointing at his computer screen. 'That looks helpful.'

"Hmm…" Odd read out the appearing text on the screen, "_'Emergency backup plan in case Operation: YEEHAW ends up horribly wrong and thousands of people blow up'_. Yup, that sounds good to me."

Jeremie let out a 'phew' of relief as Yumi let him drop down from her grasp.

He made his way over to the computer, thinking happy things and… for some reason… going very, very slowly.

"Anytime now, Jeremie." Yumi said impatiently, now playing a card game with Ulrich at this point.

"Got any Queens?"

"Go fish."

"Curses." _(fwip)_

Jeremie hadn't picked a better time to stall, because three seconds before he reached his computer…

A cow crashed through the wall and destroyed it.

"WHAT THE-" Ulrich exclaimed, too shocked to finish.

Then the cow flew away.

Odd fell over laughing.

"This has XANA all over it more than Odd has sauce on his face on spaghetti night!" cried Jeremie.

"Bwaha- HEY!"

"No time to lose!" Yumi replied, fist raised.

"Yeah!" Ulrich copied, fist also in the air. Together they jumped through the giant hole in the wall.

…

"Jeremie?"

"Yeah Odd?"

"Why didn't Yumi and Ulrich just use the _stairs?"_

They looked at each other.

* * *

"I blame you." a battered Yumi grumbled to the brunette that landed on top of her.

"No, I blame _you."_

"You."

"_You."_

Odd and Jeremie, who had the sense to NOT make the suicidal jump, came out of the building and ran forward to help the two up.

"Guys, that was something even _I _wouldn't have done." Odd scolded for once.

Ulrich shakily pointed at Yumi. "Once again, I blame you."

Yumi blinked and looked around.

"Where's Aelita?"

This was a very good point. She was nowhere to be seen.

"I don't know…" Jeremie said, looking very puzzled and scratching his head.

A loud explosion could be clearly heard and seen a few miles away.

"OH NO!" Jeremie screamed, running off.

"Well, that went well." A soot covered Aelita coughed, looking at the burning wreck in front of her.

Jeremie and the others ran up behind her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he screamed, again, at her.

"Attempting part A of Operation: Really long name?"

Jeremie facepalmed.

Ulrich bent over the smouldering remains. "_This_ was 'part A'?"

"I hope not." Yumi moaned, holding her head. "XANA's making enough things explode as it is."

"No, it's an optional step." said Jeremie as he wiped the sweat off his brow. "Part A had two... well, parts to it. It'll still work, but not as effectively."

"What was it that you were up to anyway, Aelita?" Odd asked curiously.

"Trying to make a microwave oven out of twigs, grass and a frog." She replied.

They all stared at Jeremie.

"Sorry. That was a lie. Let's go."

* * *

XANA snorted and looked ahead of him.

Several buildings were now ... erm, not there. Some had been turned into various dairy products, others were giant burnt penguin plushies (Oxymorons did not exist in XANA's eyes. Then again, a lot of things don't. Was that even an oxymoron?). One was now a baby, which blinked confusedly.

"I board."

The insane boy looked around for a new target, until a nice big skyscraper with a billboard came into view.

"Pretty lights..." XANA drooled, seeing no lights at all.

In his admiration, he attempted to read the sign that he COULD see.

THE REASON I CALLED YOU HERE WAS BECAUSE I HAD TO TALK YOU TO ABOUT MR FOX AND HIS EVIL MINIONS OF CHICKEN STEALING OH EM GEE

Of course it had absolutely nothing to do with what it really said, but the word 'chicken' excited XANA, and he ran across the now melted road.

Not too many blocks back, the gang were running towards the city centre.

"We're almost there!" exclaimed Yumi, as she pointed at a sign saying 'You're almost there, kids!'

The sight before them was indescribable.

No. Really. This isn't an excuse for the author to get on with the story. ANYWAY.

Citywithnoname was a mere shell of what it was before. XANA's destruction was evident everywhere, from the butter shaped bank to the giant plastic goat next to the mini mall.

And to the grey-haired teenager trotting happily towards the tallest building in the area.

Jeremie and Aelita stared in horror, while Ulrich and Yumi stood in deep thought.

Odd turned away from the remains of the candy store and screamed.

"ASSUME POSITION ALPHA 143!" Jeremie blurted out.

A wolf howled in the background.

"Wait... what?" Ulrich said, scratching his head.

The blond pointed at the building.

"Ohhhh." Yumi and Ulrich echoed, before saluting and running towards said establishment.

Odd nodded and ran into a forest nearby.

As for the other two, they had a little trip to make to the computer store.

Literally.

"OWCHIES!"

* * *

The gang of one eyed tap-dancing toasters surrounding him made XANA run through the skyscraper with a speed he never knew of. Which, at first, was nothing. But anyway.

They made him run really, really fast.

"LALALALALA" he sang as he... um... ran through walls. And people. Some plants, too.

Several passing office workers were shaking their heads going 'damn, my neck's sore', completely unaware of the deranged teenager running throughout the place destroying everything.

But remember, these were office workers. OFFICE WORKERS. One's that go 'hisss' when you take their coffee away. (Well, except the really short one with glasses that actually noticed his path of chaos. He was short, so nobody cared.)

Alas, XANA digressed. Before promptly leaping into the elevator screaming 'ASPARAGUS!' and pressing the top floor button.

Elevator music to the tune of "Planet Net" followed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jeremie and Aelita had recovered from their fall to the computer store. (Despite the fact that sentence makes no grammatical sense. Seriously, who in the right mind TRIPS to a STORE? Oyvey. I'm confusing myself again.)

"So XANA's in the main office building of Citywithnoname?" Jeremie said, making calculations on the laptop he bought. Due to the fact that his older one was too damaged from earlier to be repaired.

His pink-haired associate nodded.

"In that case, I'll set the coordinates to here... adjust the formula to look like this..."

While he did this, Aelita mindlessly rode on a mechanical ladybird.

"Done! Now we just need Ulrich and Yumi to get into position."

* * *

"Cubicles have always made me claustrophobic." grumbled Yumi, eyes darting from one side to the other.

"Uwaa? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Ulrich replied, turning away from a poster saying 'VOTE FOR TEKIRAI!'.

"Nevermind."

They got to another set of stairs.

"So, what do you think Jeremie has in mind for this genius plan of his?"

Yumi shrugged. "Beats me. I still don't know why he ordered us to get to the top of the building to catch him."

"Wouldn't he, like, fly away or something?"

"Mmm. There's a thought."

Ulrich sighed and sat down on the step.

"I don't see why we have to climb all these steps, though. " He groaned, putting his head in his hands. "Damn you XANA for breaking the freakin' elevator among other things."

The short office clerk from earlier dropped down from a hole in the ceiling.

"It's a pity there isn't some secret passage somewhere." Yumi sighed.

"Wouldn't surprise me, really." The worker walked over to the wall and tapped it. "I'd probably go insane if I worked somewhere similar."

"Mmm." Ulrich said absentmindedly.

'_taptaptap'_

"Where do you think Odd went?"

"He probably went to save Kiwi. Wouldn't blame him- XANA could be at the school at any moment."

'_taptaptap'_

"Crap! What if he's there now?"

"I AM NOT GOING BACK DOWN 5 FLOORS, ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU."

'_tapuntapuntapun'_

Suddenly, the wall the random guy was tapping slid around, bringing the poor person with it.

"Hey. Where'd that short dude go?"

"Beats me."

"Think we should go through the wall?"

"'Kay."

* * *

"This no chicken." XANA pouted, staring at the plastic bag in his hand before throwing it to the seven winds.

How _dare_ that sign mislead him so? And to think he went through all that pointless wreckage for nothing.

Actually, the billboard just said 'Boring Chicken Hating Office Co'. At least he was close...

Sorta.

XANA sighed and looked to the amber skies from the rooftop. Time sure does fly when you're out of your mind.

"Not so fast, XANA!"

Heroic fanfares came out of nowhere, as an opening appeared on the floor and Ulrich and Yumi jumped out.

"If you think you're gonna get away with this, XANA..."

Yumi stood up slowly, for dramatic effect.

"Then think aga- WAAH!"

"ULRICH!"

Being careless at the current time, he didn't notice XANA's left shoe in his path, causing him to tumble into his friend.

This put them into a pretty embarrassing position...

"Foolish humans! You think you'd get my bacon, but you can't! FWAHAHAHA!" the demonic AI cackled, waving his arms around.

They were too preoccupied with each others' faces to notice.

"Uhh." Ulrich stuttered, blushing.

XANA clapped his hands in delight. "Ya know what would make this scene so cute?! An ANVIL!"

The giant metal object hurtled towards the pair, which finally prised them apart.

"We'll settle_ that_ later." Yumi murmured into Ulrich's ear.

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" he cried, even redder.

Several more anvils flew towards them as they ran in the opposite direction.

"Wherever Jeremie is," gasped Yumi, "he better be finished! Now!"

"No, I'm not!" A voice rang from several miles away.

"Damnit!"

The two skidded to a halt as a 6 storey drop met them. The building was a lot taller than they thought it was, having travelled up half a dozen staircases to get where they were now.

Ulrich cursed as he turned around to meet XANA laughing hysterically.

"It's a pity." He sang as he somersaulted in the air. "I wanted to play with you guys a bit more."

"Oh well. SAYONARA!"

He took out a gigantic shovel from behind his back and raised it into the air.

"Oh shit..." growled Ulrich as he stood in front of Yumi. "He's got us now."

"Umm, Ulrich... before he does anything..."

Something sparkled in the distance.

"I... really want to say that I..."

"Yeah?"

It got a lot warmer. Was it from nervousness?

"I... I lo-"

"AHHHH!" Ulrich screamed, pointing at the flaming rock flying towards them.

"GIANT MECHANICAL FERRET!" XANA exclaimed before turning into a tree stump.

It grew closer and closer. Soon it was only a few metres away from them...

Oh, when we say 'them', we really mean XANA.

...wait, XANA?

It was hurtling towards him!

But it missed.

It hit the short office worker instead. Oh noes.

"Where'd _he_ come from?" uttered Yumi, pointing at him with her eye twitching.

"I'm assuming we missed."

Jeremie and Aelita's heads popped up from the side.

Ulrich sighed and leaned against the railing. "Think ya did."

XANA was playing with his toes before standing turning around.

"What now?" cried Aelita in a very panicky voice.

"We're doomed." Jeremie moaned, sinking into the ground.

"Anybody want a peanut?" XANA cooed, waving a large plank at them.

"Where does he get this stuff, anyway?"

"Beats me."

At that moment in time, all hope was lost. Their ultimate (It should be 'not-so-ultimate', really.) plan failed miserably, their number one enemy was out of his mind and approaching them with a dangerous weapon (Oh no. Wood. Everyone's gonna be attacking each other with rock versions of Silent Night next.) atop a huge skyscraper at 7.27 in the evening during the winter season.

... wait a minute. Something's missing here.

Let's see... we've got the anvil, awkward moment, giant rock... threatening object... big drop...

Jeremie wetting his pants? AHA! Oh, wait, there he goes.

Yumi hiding behind Ulrich, uh huh...

Geez, what's going on here?

... ohhh right. Here we go now.

The plank grew ever closer to the cowering four in all its flat woodiness.

They would've been doomed if it weren't for the random guy flying towards them.

"Whazzat?" asked XANA, pointing at him.

"It's a bird!" Aelita said dramatically.

Yumi pointed too just as dramatically. "It's a pl-"

"It's Odd." Ulrich said simply.

"IMMA GONNA SAVE THE DAYYYY!"

The flying teenager (it's still a mystery as to how that was possible, but anyway) zoomed towards the confused XANA, kicked him down, stuffed him into a cannon and sent him flying towards the middle of nowhere.

All within 20 seconds.

Jeremie rubbed the back of his head. "Well, that was a very brief ending..."

I know.

* * *

In the end they all went back to school and hid inside their dorms until everybody realised what 'thuh hex' just happened that day.

Jeremie didn't bother wasting a return to the past in case it did anything weird to XANA. Again. ("We'll blame it on the monsoon season." He said casually, before gulping down the rest of his Dr Pepper.) Searches for XANA soon ceased after two days of to boredom.

Aelita's paranoia disappeared soon after XANA did. She became very happy and got good grades. And stuff. Something about a toxicology report.

Whatever_ that_ is.

Ulrich was last seen being dragged away by Yumi into the factory. They haven't been seen for a few days. Odd thinks they turned into dragons. But then again, this was Odd.

Speaking of the guy, he's been using his spare time researching two things: one- how in the name of God he freaking FLEW, and two- why Ulrich was so freaked out for about 6 months. Odd found nothing on the two, so he went away and drowned himself in root beer instead.

Jim just exploded.

As for XANA...

* * *

XANA grunted and sat up.

"Ugh... what in the name Macintosh happened to me... all I remember is putting that foreign object down my through and walking into a wall and now I'm here."

He looked around him. Where was he, anyway?

And... why did he feel colder than usual?

The materials he wore on his person were gone, too.

Was that a HUMAN beside him?

... (smirk)

You know the rest.

* * *

Gah, I hate how this turned out...

Well, I tried to keep as many similarities from the prequel in this as possible. (The horribly written TV/book cliffhanger, the ending, completely out-of-place U/Y hints etc.) As well as a few new things, like recurring characters.

God, I have no life.

Anyway, reviews would be nice. I haven't received a new one in a while (I wonder why... xD;;) and I miss reading 'em and seeing the little review alerts in my mailbox. They make me feel like I'm being noticed.


End file.
